3ridan: riddlersgammon: hyungstrider: if you ever get Sad just throw whatever youre holding onto th ground and yell ‘FOOTBALL’ as loud as you can what if its a baby dont question the man he gave you clear fucking instructions
warbloggerofzillyhoo: thesherlockfandomisbroken: smith-and-noble: samandpatricks: today my best friend asked me “why cinderella’s shoe fell off if it fit her perfectly” In the original story the prince ordered one of his servants to put liquid tar on the staircase to stop her from running away. The shoe got stuck on the tar. That is a liiiiittle bit creepy LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT...
bandbutts: If masturbating while stoned isn’t called weed whacking I don’t know how to live my life anymore
jaclcfrost: avatargrimes: jaclcfrost: chiptunehero: jaclcfrost: no one ever talks about peter pan’s brother peter pot peter pot the only boy who was higher than peter pan and this is probably why no one talks about him peter pot is so high, he neverlands. and it’s definitely not because of any faith or trust or pixie dust
When you were younger and a friend came round
sodamnrelatable: The awkward first half hour of politeness: The next couple of hours: When their parents came to collect them: “HIDE! HIDE! THEY CAN’T TAKE YOU IF THEY CAN’T FIND YOU! IN MY ROOM! THEY WILL NEVER FIND YOU THERE! HIDE NIGGA HIDE! THIS IS A MATTER OF LIFE OR DEATH!” YES!!
jinn0uchi: the-hatred-machine: purgatorystuck: Mi papá tiene 47 años= my dad is 47 years old Mi papa tiene 47 anos= my potato has 47 assholes I love spanish A capital letter changes it even further: Mi Papa tiene 47 anos = My pope has 47 anuses literally the best post I have seen on this website
chihayahearts: jaclcfrost: if i was in a fictional universe i wouldn’t be the main character i’d probably be that friend of the main character who lacks supernatural powers or special abilities but makes up for it with sarcasm and really lame one-liners